Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A long, rambling post that includes some bad news, some good news, a happy story, and some of my writing

Hey, folks. It is I, Brigid, once again. Life has been absolutely nuts in the past three weeks since I've posted––and I don't really have one topic to focus on, so this is going to be a long rant about a lot of things that are bouncing around in my brain.

I thought I'd start off by giving you the bad news. Then I'll get to the good news. Then I'll tell you about some awesome stuff I've been doing for the past couple weeks. Lastly, I realize that I've never really posted any of my writing directly on my blog, so I figured I would share a snippet of it for once.

Alrighty, here goes …

The Bad News

The bad news is,

a) Kristin Nelson double-rejected me. You know how I emailed her back before, after she read my partial and said it was "relentlessly dark" and all? Well, then I got the reply back from one of her assistants or something, who was like "Kristin says thanks, but she has too much to read" or something. Oh, well. That's pretty much what I expected. If dark and depressing isn't her thing, I guess she just wasn't the agent for me.

b) Jason Anthony also rejected me––although as far as I could tell, he seemed to like the manuscript at least a little … He basically said that he was impressed I'd written it at my age, and that my writing style was good, but he didn't like the structure and thought the story was too clichéd. So over all, "You're good for a kid, but you're not good enough. *pat pat*" At least he said he's interested in future projects, so I'll have somewhere to turn when I finish/edit something else.

As for Walking Shadow … Well, I started frantically sending out queries again a few days ago. Which brings me to …

The Good News

The good news is, I sent out somewhere between 20-30 queries in the past two days. *whew* Today I sent out a bunch at about 4:30. I just checked my email like half an hour ago and found I had one response that came at 5:16. So I'm like, "Wow, that was fast." And then I just stared at it, not wanting to open it.

I hate hate hate that feeling of opening a response to a query. I always tell myself "It's a rejection, it's a rejection, it's a rejection" but there's always that part of me that hopes so badly that it won't be.

And this time, it wasn't.


So, Katherine Boyle of the Veritas Literary Agency requested my full manuscript. Woot! Of course I made sure she's an AAR member and looked up her background on AbsoluteWrite. From what I've read, people say she's friendly and enthusiastic, and she's willing to request revisions if she thinks a manuscript has potential. So, that's good. :) I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up but … Maybe this time will be different? Maybe maybe maybe?

Anyway …

Happy Story!

So, the past few weeks have been totally awesome because I've been hanging out with my ninja-writer friends: Acacia, Ilana, and Sella. Sella flew over here from CA and Acacia and Ilana both live in MA … So now we are all here in MA and it's been the greatest experience hanging out with all of them. I met all three of these amazing people through Goodreads.com––not that I am encouraging meeting with random people from the internet, because these guys aren't random. I've known them all for at least a year, and we've talked through Goodreads, Facebook, Skype, and over the phone pretty much every day since we "met". It's kind of an out-of-body experience though. You'd think it'd be weird, but when I met up with them in real life I didn't feel like it was any different––besides that they're even more amazing in person, but it's like we've been friends forever and ever. :D So yeah, since Sella got here we've had a bunch of sleepovers, and watched movies (and lightning storms, which Sella had never seen before :P), and stayed up all night … and oh yeah writing, that's pretty important too. ;) lol. It's been like the best summer ever! I love my ninjas!!!

My Writing

Okay, so here's what's up with my writing.

First of all, I finished my book Jump! Yay! I have now completed seven novels :)

I'm now switching my focus between Sky-Fall, Unraveling, and Rage. Not really sure which one I'm going to focus on next. … I told myself for months that Unraveling was next in line, but now I keep getting ideas for Sky-Fall and Rage too. Dammit. Well, I'll probably end up sharing tidbits of all of them in the future.

For now, since I talk about it so dang much, I thought I'd share some of Walking Shadow with you. So, enjoy this little excerpt. Peace out! ;)


Jason stops dead in his tracks. He whirls around to face me again, so suddenly that it startles me.

“I don't know what I am, anymore,” he blurts. There's a wild, terrified gleam in his dark eyes now, like his fear is driving him into insanity. “I don't know what I've done. But I have to get back, somehow. I have to become human again.”

We're both silent, staring at each other like we're looking through a pane of glass––one of us on each side, separated but still able to see each other. The only thing I can hear is both of us breathing. My heart is pounding faster and faster in my chest.

I can tell that he's holding something back. I still see the image from him in my dream––curled up on the floor, bleeding, dying, so close to me but yet so far away, beyond my reach. I feel lightheaded, just thinking about it.

“What do you want me to do?” My voice is low, almost a whisper. “I don't––don't understand.”

His eyes go dull, like he's starting to get some of his sanity back. I can practically see it, when reality hits him. “I don't know, either. I don't know what you're or what I'm supposed to do. But I just can't keep living like this. Or not 'living', exactly, but you know what I mean.” He shakes his head. “I'm just really scared, okay? I know that maybe you can't help me, but if you could just consider it, at least. If you could just try …”

“You're not telling me something,” I interrupt him. The words burst out of me before I can stop them. He looks at me, taken aback. “Maybe I'm wrong, but …”

“No.” The surprise is gone from his face. “I mean, you're not wrong. You're right.”

“So, what are you not telling me?”

He closes his eyes, like he's trying to concentrate on something. When he opens them again, they seem darker and blacker than ever. “You have to promise that you won't be afraid of me, if I show you.”

I wrap my arms tighter around myself. The cold of the autumn morning presses in around me. I want to tell him that I won't be scared. Normally, it would be true. I've never been truly afraid of anything, except my own mind. But I feel afraid of him now, with an intensity like I've never felt. Still, I need to know who he is. What he is.

I don't promise anything, but I give the command, keeping my voice and my gaze steady. “Show me.”

Once again, the wind picks up, as if in forewarning. This time it's stronger, making my hair whip into my face, snatching the leaves from the ground and throwing them into the air. More leaves fall from the tree branches above us, orange and yellow, so it looks like fire is falling from the sky.

Jason is still standing there, like he's waiting for something. But what is he waiting for? Is he waiting for me to change my mind? Is what he has to show me really that disturbing, that dangerous? Violent shudders go up my spine. What's he going to do, grow fangs and eat me?

Jason doesn't change. He doesn't shape-shift. He doesn't burst into flames. He just looks down at the gloves on his hands––and slowly, he starts to take them off. When his hands emerge from the gloves, they look perfectly ordinary. No fur or scales or claws or anything. Just normal, human hands. What am I supposed to see?

Jason puts his gloves in the pocket of his denim jacket. He's not looking at me anymore; he's looking around at the ground, like he's searching for something. He walks closer to me, and the cold, Otherworldly feeling of his presence nearly overwhelms my mind, filling it with blackness. I'm dizzy for a second, but I force myself to stay alert, to keep watching him.

He kneels on the ground, so close to me. His head is bent, still staring downward. I can't see what he's looking at, so I kneel down too. My legs are shaking so badly, I'm afraid I'll fall over. But I manage, clumsily, to make it onto my knees.

I brush red strands of hair out of my eyes, my fingers shaking. The only thing on the ground between us is a small patch of uncovered soil. In the middle of it, there's an anthill. It's getting a little late in the year for the ants to still be alive, I think. But that's probably not the point.

The tiny black creatures climb in and out of the small, dark hole. I lift my eyes, looking at Jason. His face is a blank mask. It's like he's concentrating on something––something that is beyond my perception. Then he reaches down, and he brushes one finger over some of the ants.

At first, nothing happens. I'm about to decide, once and for all, that he's crazy and that I should just walk away. Then, I see that something strange is happening to the ants that he touched. They stop in their tracks, as if they've been frozen in time. One by one, they start curling in on themselves, their little legs struggling like they're trying to fight against an invisible, crushing force. They crumple. They disintegrate. Their tiny bodies burst, leaking black fluid. The ants that Jason touched lie in a miserable, messy trail of death.

I almost fall backwards in horror. I stare and stare, not knowing what to feel. I feel like I've been punched hard in the stomach, like I'm choking, like I'm going to throw up. This is not what I expected in the least. It would be an understatement to say I'm surprised, and hardly anything surprises me. I haven't even breathed this entire time.

I can feel Jason watching me, like he's waiting for my reaction, and his gaze––even though I'm not even looking at him––chills me to the core. What does he expect me to say? What does he want me to say? Is he hoping that this convinced me to try to help him? Did it convince me?

I'm starting to think that I'll never be able to look up, but at last, I let out a deep breath and I lift my eyes; they lock on Jason's. Right away, my breath catches again. It's not that he looks different, but that there's the hint of something new there, like he's scared of what he's just done, but there's another part of him that doesn't see the horror in the situation, maybe even a part of him that enjoyed it. But fear and desperation overpower that satisfaction, so strong as they reach me, from across the small space between us, that I can almost taste them. I've never felt fear like his.

Again, I see him in the middle of the white room, in my dream, his bloody hand prints streaking the walls, his fingers dripping blood as he reaches for me. I can see his eyes overflowing with bloody tears, leaving red trails on his face. I hear those words, repeated, even though he doesn't say them aloud this time. It's like his very soul, if he has one, is screaming and calling out to me.

Help me, it cries, tearing me apart. Help me, help me, help me


  1. Wow. That excerpt was really dark towards the end, but I have to admit, your writing style makes it beautiful.

    Somehow I have the feeling that Walking Shadow may just be your ticket in to publication, Bridge.

    Oh, and will you continue posting your writings on Goodreads?

  2. Thanks Ellen! :)

    Yeah, I've still been posting some writing on Goodreads (although I haven't written for a while … *bad Brigid bad*) Although if I ever get published I'd have to stop posting stuff I guess … if that's what you mean. :P

  3. Yeah, both thngs is what I meant. Lol. Well, that's good for you (because you'll be published) but it'll suck for us because that means we have to wait for publication :/ And that's a long process.

  4. Eh well, we'll see. Judging by what's happened in the past, I don't think I'm going to be published for a while. :-/ meep. But it would suck not being able to share my writing with you guys :P

  5. I just read it and though I have my personal nitpicks ('that' is bad word, along with 'had'), but I must say, that was VERY well-writen, dear. Wow. Just wow.

  6. Hi. I remembered you said you like Avatar: The Last Airbender, and I don't know if you've heard of FanFiction, but I reccently invested i nthat. I have a Zuko story called Children of the Sun, where he meets a Courtesan named Areida. Would you, um, read it? lol! Reviews are appreciated!!!! For both chapters.


    Thank you!

  7. Hehe Brigid! Another blog post! <3 I love you.

    Kristin Nelson is an idiot, don't pay attention to her. I mean, she made a usage error in one of the emails she sent you ... what kind of literary agent is she? :P Haha. And don't give up with the Jason guy. He said that you should send him your next project. He will love Unraveling! Or anything else you write. :) Walking Shadow just wasn't for him.


    Hehehee Happy Story = Me love. Of course. ;) Brigid it's so amazing being here with you. I don't want to leave in a few days. :( I will miss you. I LOVE YOU FIANCEE BEST FRIEND. <3

    Love the excerpt. Love Walking Shadow in general. XD Love YOU!

  8. Alex - Thanks! Haha, I know I'm bad with "that" and "had" and "just" … that kind of thing. I'm still trying to edit out all those annoying extraneous words. Blah. :P Ooh Zuko! <3 well, I will try to check it out, but I have a list of like a hundred other stories I promised to read. Accck. So, it might not be for a while. Plus, I'm not really into fanfic. But I'll try. :]

    Sella - I love you too. :)

    Meh. Well, I'm sure she's busy. And we all make typos. I'm mostly just confused as to why my book is supposed to show "a glimmer of hope" in the first chapter or whatever … blah. Urrrgh. I suppose. Although Unraveling is frustrating me right now, and it's not that I don't like it but … rarrrr. I mean, if he thought Walking Shadow had structure problems … bahahaha. Unraveling has no structure whatsoever. :P

    YAAAAY. Although I predict that it'll just be the same old story. *sigh*



  9. Hi Brigid, I like your blog! Congrats on the new request for a full! And wow, seven novels? You're quite prolific.

  10. Oh, um, just to clarify, I'm "Eliorah" and the person from the Yahoo group.

  11. Hey Eleanor! Nice to see you here. :) Thanks for checking out my blog! Haha yup … seven … None of them are really edited though. x_x blahhh.

  12. Wow...I like your writing a lot. And congrats on the full request! That totally makes up for the rejections! I have yet to have a full request. I've had one partial, and that's the best I've received. I need to get to revising at the moment - I've got two WIPs that need revising, but I can't seem to get in the mode for it.

    Anyway, congrats again!

  13. Thanks April! Well, I hope it will make up for the rejections. Heh heh. Don't worry, just keep working at it. I figure that with all the literary agents in the world, SOMEONE has to say yes …


    And super congrats on the full request! WHEE! I'm excited for you XD

  15. Thank you!

    hehe Thanks! Actually I got another full request today AND another partial request. whew. I need to update. :P

  16. Brigid wrote: "I love you too. :)

    Meh. Well, I'm sure she's busy. And we all make typos. I'm mostly just confused as to why my book is supposed to show "a glimmer of hope" in the first chapter or whatever … blah. Urrrgh. I suppose. Although Unraveling is frustrating me right now, and it's not that I don't like it but … rarrrr. I mean, if he thought Walking Shadow had structure problems … bahahaha. Unraveling has no structure whatsoever. :P

    YAAAAY. Although I predict that it'll just be the same old story. *sigh*



    I know, she's an idiot for saying that Walking Shadow should show a glimmer of hope in the first few chapters. That's utterly ridiculous.

    Brigid Brigid Brigid, don't say that. Unraveling is amazing <3. It's the best book in the world, definitely your best novel, even more amazing than Walking Shadow. And the fact that it has no structure makes it so awesome.

    I hope it won't be the same old story! Crossing my fingers!


  17. You are going to get represented by the Veritas Literary Agency. Why? Because the Veritas are my family/political party on FF and it would be so perfect if you were. :D

  18. Wow, I need to reply to comments more often. Heh heh.

    Sella - Well, that's a bit harsh. Haha. I think it just wasn't her taste ... which means she probably wouldn't be a good agent for me, anyway. Errrrrr I disagree. Unraveling is quite a mess––at the moment anyway. But I haven't touched it in months. I'll have to get back to it. Eventually. >_< Well … uh … it WAS the same old story. Heehee. I still wish you could live in my basement, too. :(

    Amy - Hahaaaa. No idea what that means but uhh cool … ? Too bad it didn't work out. :P Although she said she'd look at revisions soooo I should get back to her once I finish editing WS again.


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